Stop calling unpleasant emotions negative!
There’re no negative emotions.
You have feelings. Their strengths may vary.
For example, you may feel happiness. You may feel anxiety or anger or anything else.
Naming unpleasant feelings negative creates an illusion of something you need to avoid.
When you avoid them, they aggregate in your body as muscle tension.
Instead of fighting emotions, try working with them.
So, instead do the opposite.
Name It, Don’t Judge It
Instead of saying, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” say, “Right now, I feel anxious about this launch.” This small shift allows you to process the feeling rather than resist it.
Speak them out making that as safe as possible for others (e.g. “When you say that, I feel anxiety”).
- Instead of: “This project is a disaster, and no one is communicating!”
- Try: “I’m feeling frustrated because we’re not aligned on priorities. Let’s clarify them together.”
And notice the difference!
Spot the Pattern
If certain emotions keep resurfacing, like recurring frustration with a team member or stress before every investor meeting, it’s a signal to look deeper. Are expectations unclear? Is there an underlying process issue?
Use It to Improve Decision-Making
Emotions often highlight risks, misalignments, or areas for growth. Instead of seeing frustration as a blocker, ask: What is this frustration trying to tell me? Maybe it’s time to delegate more or reassess team priorities.
Your Next Step
Next time a strong emotion surfaces at work, pause for a moment. Instead of reacting immediately, try this:
- Name it (“I’m feeling anxiety by our product roadmap.”)
- Identify the trigger (“Too many priorities competing at once.”)
- Turn it into action (“Let’s simplify the roadmap and cut non-essential features for this sprint.”)
Recognizing and using emotions this way helps you lead with clarity, not just reaction.